


'Cause You're Not By My Side

by TheQuietQuill



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Lots of Angst, Marijuana, Multi, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-09
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-05-12 20:03:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5678830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQuietQuill/pseuds/TheQuietQuill
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“’Ello?” Louis’ eyes grow wide. Her voice is still high pitched but it’s heavy with slumber but it’s lovely as ever. A dopey smile spreads across Louis’ lips.</p><p>              “Hiya love,” he slurs happily. Louis hears her ruffling in her bedsheets.</p><p>              “…Louis?” she breathes out. Louis smirks at the way she says his name. Louis’ missed her voice and the way she says his name.</p><p>              “Hi Els.”</p><p>Or: the one where Louis gets high and calls his ex, Eleanor, after not speaking to her for months.<br/>(or the one where I listen to way too much Arctic Monkeys and I got inspired to write this based off of their song, Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High)</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause You're Not By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys!  
> This is the last Elounor thing I'll write. Which is sad but yeah. Anyway...I've never used drugs before? So I have no idea if what I wrote is accurate or not, lol. But drug use and angst ahead!  
> Please read and enjoy! :)

Louis inhales the feeling this joint brings to him. He feels the toxics hitting his lungs and spreading across his body. His mind becomes pleasingly numbs seconds after taking a long drag of the joint and Louis welcomes the feeling amongst his mates.

                He feels nothing, which for Louis is heavenly.

                “Stop hoggin’ it, Lou,” Calvin complains across from him and Louis rolls his eyes as he passes it over to him reluctantly. He sniffles his nose and sits back and the numbness spreads over his body. He knows he’s got a dopey smile on his lips but he can’t help it. It’s great to be with his mates, especially Stan. Louis hadn’t seen Stan in ages and Louis loves Stan.

                Louis loves Stan and Oli and maybe even Calvin but right now, most of all, Louis loves weed. He really fucking loves it.

                “Here’s to Stan,” Calvin rasps, his voice horsed and raw as he lifts the joint up. Stan grows sheepish beside Louis, “Here’s to your master’s degree in fuckin’ sociology-”

                “Psychology,” Stan interjects and Calvin ways him off, his face hidden by the joint’s smoke.

                “Like I fucking care. Okay whatever; here’s to your masters in psychology and all the student loans you’re gonna be drowning in for the rest of your life.”

                Louis would tell Cal off if he was in a more knowing state, but he can’t come up with words to say. Oli loves to Louis’ left and Louis mentally laughs at his mate. Cal’s a leader, beneath Louis and Olli’s a follower. Stan, the fucking kid, follows his own path. Louis admires that about Stan.

                Louis loves Stan, and Oli and maybe even Calvin but right now, he really loves weed.

                “At least, Stan actually went out and did somethin’ with his life,” Louis finally mumbles without thinking, “unlike you tossers.”

                Calvin shoots him a challenging look but doesn’t say anything. Instead in lifts the joint to his lips and takes in a deep drag. _Yeah that’s right,_ Louis thinks distantly, _get high off of my money._

                “Thanks Lou,” Stan mumbles weakly. He’s not nearly high enough, Stan. He just fucking graduated from Uni and he’s not high enough, not for Louis’ liking.

                Louis sighs, his head light as a feather, “It’s nothin’ mate. Congrats, by the way. I know you worked hard and stuff.” Stan scoffs at that.

                “Mate, you toured the fucking world and worked ten months out of the year for the last five years,” Stan points out and yeah, he’s not nearly high enough, “You’ve worked harder then anyone I know, especially me.”

                They’re in a back room in a dodgy bar in Doncaster. Stan knows the owner or the bartender, Louis can’t recall. He just knows that they’re away from the fans where no one will bother them. It’s nice enough, it’s smoking as Hell and there’s a strong stench of fifty-plus years worth of alcohol but there are no windows and it’s just the four of them. There was no way he could get high with his mates at his mum’s house. He might be newly 24, but his mum is still in charge. The thought of getting caught and getting in trouble by his mum…it still scared the shit out of him. Here, they’re hidden which is nice, especially after being so exposed to the public for five years.

                The thought of the band flashes over Louis’ mind. Maybe he didn’t take a good enough drag of the joint or maybe it’s cheap shit but either way, he shouldn’t be thinking about the boys. They just started their well deserved break. Harry’s globe trotting as usual, Niall can’t be found and Liam-bless him, Liam keeps texting all of them, asking what they’re up to and if they’re all okay.

                Thing is, Louis’ not sure if he’s okay. It’s been a while since he’s been okay.

                “Man, I couldn’t do fucking Uni,” Louis mutters, “revising and the lectures-fuck that!” Stan laughs beside him and Louis turns to Olli, “Mate, pass the graduate the joint man.” Stan reaches over and takes the joint from Oli.

                Calvin sighs and leans back in his chair, his heavy eyes dead set on Louis, “So Lou, mate. Tell us about this Danielle girl.” Louis feels slightly sick at Cal’s challenging grin on his thin lips. Louis shrugs.

                “I dunno, not much to say I guess.” Oli chuckles lengthily.

                “Mate, you stayed at her parent’s house for a week,” he reminds Louis, “seems serious.”

                Louis smirks tightly, “It’s new, we’ve only started seeing each other last month. Not much to say about it yet.” Cal snickers.

                “She’s a pretty little thing, that bird of yours,” he points out. Louis shifts in his bar stool and glares his mate down.

                “Yeah, she is,” he says through gritted teeth.

                Cal smirks, “Much fitter then El was.”

                Louis freezes and his high wears off. Did…did he mention her name? God, it’s been months but why does it still hurt Louis so much to hear her name? He realizes what Calvin said about his ex and he stares him down and scrambles words in his hazy mind for retaliation but Stan beats him to the punch.

                “Cal, that’s fucking rude mate,” he says hotly, “shut the fuck up.”

                Oli laughs, cutting the tension slightly, “What, Stan? Why do you care? Lou and El broke off months ago. She’s long gone, mate. Fuck her.”

                “Fuck you,” Louis spits out abruptly. Cal and Oli look shock but Stan looks proud.

                Cal finally speaks up, “Mate, El broke your heart.”

                Louis briefly recalls the finally months of his and Eleanor’s relationship. It comes in bits and pieces but he doesn’t recall it being either one of their faults, but it was both of their faults at the same time. Louis knew she was tired of Louis’ life, she was sick of only seeing him for five minutes and then being away from months at a time. Louis knows now, looking back, that he didn’t do enough to make her stay. He didn’t treat her the way she deserved and he certainly wasn’t there when she needed him. The bond between just…dissolved over time. They both left the relationship with battle scares and utterly defeated.

                “That doesn’t give you the right to talk shit about her,” Louis mumbles, “Just-stop talking.” And yeah, his high has dwindled down to nothingness. Louis’ not nearly buzzed enough; he doesn’t want to think of her, maybe not ever again. He reaches over to Stan and plucks the joint out of his hand before taking a good and long drag of it. The drug spreads over his system and he simmers down into a relaxed state. His mind shuts down within moments, much to Louis’ delight.

                Time passes, Louis’ not sure how much. He knows it’s early morning, maybe two or even three in the morning. Cal and Oli are going on about football teams and arguing over which celebrities are hotter. Childish things, Louis thinks. He has nothing to say lately, his mind is slowly coming back to him and it only seems to be able to think of one thing. It’s funny how weed makes you think of things you desperately try to forget when you’re not sky high.

                “How is she?” Louis asks Stan, his voice awfully quiet. He knows he still talks to Eleanor and Louis no longer does but he has to know. For months he’s worried about her; wondering how he life is and if she’s happy or not. But before now, he didn’t dare ask Stan anything about her. It seems the drugs have given him courage. Stan looks over to Louis with soft eyes and he sighs heavily.

                “She’s…better,” Stan says, “I, uh, don’t talk to her much these days but like. Her fashion blog keeps her busy I guess. She’s going to all these events and yeah.”

                Louis swallows thickly, “H-has she found anyone else?” Stan looks down at the ground.

                “El says she’s talking to this guy,” Stan tells him and Louis feels his stomach clinch in his body, “he’s like a hot shot lawyer or somethin’ like that. They’ve, uh, gone out a few times but nothing’s official I guess.”

                Louis sinks in his chair as his mind fills with images of a girl with dark brown hair and wide eyes and a contagious smile. Louis recalls always wanting to make Eleanor smile when they were together, but towards the end, it became harder and harder to get her to smile. God, his head is buzzing but all he seems to think about is _Eleanor, Eleanor, Eleanor._ These thoughts are suffocating him and he staggers up from his seat, needing to escape.

                “I gotta go,” Louis stutters, his head reeling and his eyes blurry and unfocused. His mates make disgruntled cries.

                “What? No mate, stay. We barely see ya anymore,” Oli whines. Louis waves him off.

                “I’m tired,” he tells him, though Stan is staring at him as if Louis was made of glass.

                “Don’t leave mate,” Cal says and Louis laughs him off.

                “Don’t worry, mate. You lot can keep the joint. I’ll see ya later,” Louis stumbles into the back door and his mates cry out as Louis opens it and steps outside. None of his mates go after him as Louis takes wobbly steps out on the sidewalks dusted with light snow on the pavement. It’s bitterly cold and Louis’ only wearing a hoodie but he hopes the cold will clear his mind.

                But it doesn’t. As he staggers down the streets he barely recalls all he can think about is Eleanor. Her name is bouncing off the walls of his skill and he can’t stop as images of them together floods his thoughts _. Her giggling one the couch as the watched the X-Factor together. Her nose deep into a textbook as she revised for her classes. The way her skin felt when Louis would hug her. How gorgeous she looked when she smiled and was happy._ The thoughts are merciless.

                Louis’ mobile vibrates in his pocket. He reaches in and pulls it out. Louis struggles to recall his passcode but he remembers it eventually and steadily himself against a lamppost at the end of a dead street. He hopes in vain that maybe Eleanor’s texted him but it’s not her. It’s Stan.

                _‘You Okay mate?’_ the message says; Louis has to reread it several times because the words sorta mix together. He shakes his head because no, he’s far from okay. He hasn’t been okay in a while. He scrolls down and realizes there’s another message on his phone he must’ve missed.

                It’s from Danielle and he feels guilty as he name reads off his screen, _‘Hey Lou! How is it with your friends? I’m leaving tomorrow and I should be in London early by eight. Can’t wait to see you…I missed you! xxxx’_

                Louis gulps and groans. God, he started seeing Danielle and she’s so, so lovely. He shouldn’t be thinking about his ex that he hasn’t been with for almost ten months. Things are over and done with Eleanor, he knows that and he’s trying to move on but why is it so God damn hard? He shakes his head and touches his contacts with much difficultly. He’s still buzzed and half frozen but he doesn’t care much. He scrolls through the contacts and his thumb hovers over Danielle’s name and number. He should call her and tell her he’ll send a car for her when she arrives and he can’t wait to see her and that he’s missed her too.

                But he doesn’t.

                Something in the back of Louis’ distant mind reminds him that the letter _D_ isn’t far from the letter _E_ in his contacts. He bits his lip as he scrolls down until he sees her name with dazed eyes. His heart skips a beat in his chest but he doesn’t waste time and before he knows it, his mobile is to his ear and he waits as the phone rings and rings.

                _This is a dumb idea_ , Louis thinks. It’s late and she’s probably asleep but he’s missed her. He’s missed her a lot and Louis hasn’t been okay in months.

                Louis holds his breath as he hears the phone pick up on the other line.

                “’Ello?” Louis’ eyes grow wide. Her voice is still high pitched but it’s heavy with slumber but it’s lovely as ever. A dopey smile spreads across Louis’ lips.

                “Hiya love,” he slurs happily. Louis hears her ruffling in her bedsheets.

                “…Louis?” she breathes out. Louis smirks at the way she says his name. Louis’ missed her voice and the way she says his name.

                “Hi Els.”

                There’s a long pause and Louis frowns childishly because he wonders if Eleanor’s hung up on him. Which wouldn’t be very nice but he would understand if she did. Eleanor doesn’t owe him anything, especially not anymore. God, Louis assumed that drugs take your problems away, not reminds you of your greatest failure.

                “What are doing, Lou?” Eleanor finally says and Louis feels like dancing in the fucking street.

                “Talkin’ to you,” he stutters. Eleanor sighs tirelessly.

                “No shit, Louis,” she huffs out and Louis can’t help but laugh. Eleanor always had this spunk in her. Louis always loved her fiery spirit. Eleanor groans, “Louis, really. Why did you call me?”

                Louis shrugs, “I dunno, just wanted to call ya, see how you are.” Eleanor sighs and yawns.

                “At bloody three in the morning?!” she yells within a whispers. Louis chuckles.

                “Why not?” Eleanor scoffs.

                “Because unlike you, I was asleep.” Louis stares off at the sky.

                “Better late than never,” he mutters. He can practically hear her shake her head.

                “You’re ten months late,” she tells him harshly and it sobers him up a bit.

                Louis swallows thickly, “I know.”

                “And the last time you forced me to talk to you was when you told me you were gonna be a bloody father.”

                “I know, I know,” he groans and shifts his weight on his feet. His head’s bloody spinning a million miles an hour. This was a bad idea, he knows it now, but he’s in too deep, “God, I’m sorry but. I-I couldn’t-I didn’t want you to find out from anyone else but me.”

                Eleanor scoffs sickly, “What? That not even two months after we broke up you knocked up some random girl you met at a club?” Louis hears her stop herself and she sighs gravely, “I’m sorry. It’s just…that hurt Lou. That fucking hurt a lot,” she says brokenly.

                “I know,” he mutters. He feels himself being dragged down back to stinging reality; his buzz is coming to an end and guilt is swelling up inside his chest as he thinks back to how he acted after him and Eleanor broke up, “I’m sorry. I’m so f-fucking sorry.”

                Eleanor sighs and ignore his apology, “Are you drunk Louis?”

                “Nope,” he promises her but he snickers as he exaggerates, “I’m high as fuck, though.” He smiles as Eleanor sputters a laugh over the phone. Eleanor has a cute laugh; Louis loves her cute laugh.

                “Are you home? Is someone with you?” she asks and fuck. After everything Louis put this girl through, she still actually gives a damn about him. Eleanor’s amazing, she truly is.

                “I’m back in Donny,” Louis tells her, “Me mum’s house is just down the road.”

                “Right,” Eleanor breathes out, “That’s nice, you’re back home. Uh, Jay must like having you back. The girls must be thrilled…”

                Louis nods, “It’s good to be back.”

                Louis notices then how awkward and stiff they’re being. Louis remembers how they used to talk for hours every day on the phone while he was away. He’d listen to her go on and on about her Uni life and other things she was doing. He was always fascinated by her and he still kinda is, despite everything; despite the fact that he’s found a great girl and is trying to move on. He feels like part of him will never get over Eleanor.

                “Stan says you’ve met someone?” Louis blurts out in a question because. It’s just so hard to believe that they’re in the place; truly separated and moving on from each other. Eleanor groans over the phone.

                “I’m gonna kill Stan I swear,” she sighs deeply, “but yeah, I’ve started seeing this guy.”

                Louis pauses and can’t help asking, “What’s his name?” his lips are trembling as he asks.

                “No,” Eleanor insists, “No, I’m not. I-You don’t deserve to know anything about my life anymore Louis.” Louis scoffs.

                “That’s bloody rich,” he sneers, “when you’re the one that broke up with me.”

                “I had to!” Eleanor yells softly. Louis can hear her voice trembling as she sighs, “We were killing each other, Lou. We fought all the time and-neither one of us was happy.”

                Louis rests his head against the lamppost, “I was happy,” he insists weakly.

                “No you weren’t, not with me-not towards the end,” Eleanor says helplessly, “that trip to Australia…that was the hardest thing I had to do, breaking up with you. I…I was so sure we were going to make it.”

                Louis gulps, and tears well up in his eyes, “Me too, Els.”

                “But we…we were drifting a part for a while Louis. You can’t deny that. I just,” Eleanor sighs, “I just needed a break, Lou. A break from us and from your crazy life. I…I needed to see if I could handle all that for the rest of my life.”

                Louis thinks about all the backlash Eleanor received from dating him. Eleanor was harassed daily. Sometimes, Louis would search online and would see the horrible things people were saying about his girl. It affected Eleanor more than she let on, Louis knew this. He watched as Eleanor went from this energetic women diminish into this a girl who shied away from his public affection because she knew she’d be ridiculed online. She lost a ton of weight over the years, and Louis had to watch the love of his love fray away. She put up with the treats and the name calling and the rude fans for so long, Louis thought that they were unbreakable, fireproof even.

                But they weren’t. Louis thinks they’re shattered, completely shattered.

                Eleanor sighs and whispers sadly, “I had every intention of getting back with you. And then-”

                “And then I fucked it all up,” Louis finishes for her.

                Louis lost Eleanor and one of his best mates, Zayn, within weeks of each other and he didn’t handle it as well as he should have. But his heart was in a zillion pieces and he just wanted to forget about Eleanor. It was the hardest time of his life and Eleanor wasn’t there for him. So he went out and made out with random girls in clubs and Eleanor…she had to see his escapades in magazines and online. The paps followed Eleanor for weeks after the news broke. Louis had asked his mum to check on her for him but Eleanor never responded to Jay’s when she reached out to her.

                The boys were mad at Louis for how he was acting. Liam scolded him, because apparently Eleanor had saw him kissing some girl in a pool in Thailand two weeks after they broke up and she cried on Sophia’s shoulder over it. Niall and Harry tried to convince him to calm down but he couldn’t. He wanted to drink and party until he forgot about Eleanor, until he couldn’t see her every time he blinked. He can’t even remember most of the girls he hooked up with and the only one that really matters and the one that he’ll never forget was the one where he got some girl pregnant.

                Louis was shocked when he found out. Briana was a nice enough girl, but he never pictured having a kid with her. Eleanor happened to be in LA soon after he found out and Louis knew he had to man up and tell her about the baby. He reached out to her six times before Eleanor finally answered his calls. He met her in her hotel room the next day after four months of not seeing each other and he told her.

                Eleanor broke down and cried. Louis didn’t know what to do. In the past if Eleanor cried, Louis would have snuggled with her until her tears have dried. But Louis awkwardly stood there and watched the woman he still loved deeply weeping loudly and he couldn’t do anything about. It was his fault she was in hysterics. Eleanor and Louis talked about having a family together, when they were still a couple. Louis couldn’t believe that he was starting a family without Eleanor and apparently, she couldn’t believe it either. She pulled herself together eventually, wished him luck and made him leave. Louis sent her white roses and a plush stuffed elephant for her birthday a few days later; Eleanor never replied to him, and he suspected that Eleanor gave the stuffed animal to Bruce to use as a chew toy.

                They hadn’t talked since and Louis thought he was moving on. He met Danielle at an event in LA in August and they talked for a bit before they went on dates. Louis likes her, and he thought he was getting over Eleanor Calder. But he hasn’t, because he’s talking to his ex on the phone has he stands in the street in the late night.

                “We both screwed up Louis,” Eleanor tells him, “I…I should have been there for you, after Zayn left. He was your best friend and God, my heart hurt for you. But I was so mad at you too and I focused on my anger instead of you and I’m sorry I hurt you, Lou.” Louis closes his eyes as he recalls the hardest time of his life.

                “I hurt you more,” Louis insists, the small dose drugs still remaining in his system. Eleanor huffs softly and Louis imagines she’s smiling on the other end.

                “It looks like we’re both moving on, uh?” she states questioningly, “This new girl you’re with…she seems nice.” Louis bites his lips as the last bit of drugs remaining in his system forces him to speak.

                “Is your new boyfriend nice?” he huffs. Eleanor sighs.

                “Lou-”

                “How’s Bruce? Does he miss me?” he speaks whatever comes to mind. Fuck, Bruce. He was such a great dog and Louis loved him to pieces but yet again he rarely saw him. Eleanor got to keep him because she was actually the only one who took care of him. She deserved to keep him but Louis misses Bruce too.

                Louis misses the life he had with Eleanor.

                Eleanor sighs again, “Lou, please-”

                “Do you miss me?” Louis rasps, his throat impossibly tight, “do you even miss me at all.”

                Eleanor is silent before she finally admits, “I do,” she says quietly, “fuck, all the time.”

                Louis’ heart skips a beat. He was not expecting the night to go this way and suddenly he wants to crawl back to his mates and take another drag of the joint. He should be jumping up and down because the girl he’s still half in love with admits that she still thinks about him.

                “But,” he sighs as the last trace of the drugs wearing off completely, “that’s not enough is it?”

                Eleanor sighs grimly, “…No, I’m afraid it’s not.” Louis licks his lips and nods, his eyes heavy and lidded.

                “You’ll never forgive me, will you,” he states dazedly, his throat tightening up.

                Eleanor says nothing, and that’s all Louis needs to hear.

                “I’m sorry, Els,” he tells her again, “I’m so sorry.”

                “Lou,” Eleanor whispers weakly and then coughs tightly, “Maybe it’s for the best. You…God I loved the time I had with you and part of me will never forget you. Hell, I might spend the rest of my life with a part of me that still loves you,” Louis sniffs at the pitied tone in her voice, “But we, maybe we were never meant to make it to forever, but just for a while.”

                Louis’ not entirely sure he understands, but he acts as if he does, “I’m glad I had you for a little bit, then. You…made me be my best, Els-and I can’t thank enough for the.” Eleanor giggles, and Louis is taken aback.

                “Yeah, I sure has Hell would have not let you get a tattoo on your arse,” she laughs again and Louis finds himself chuckling loudly. So Eleanor keeps tabs on his life then. Louis thinks he’s okay with that.

                “Hey, it turned out pretty sick. Ya want me to send ya a pic?”

                “God no,” Eleanor jokes, “I loved your arse and I want to remember it the way it was before you put a bloody tattoo on it.”

                Louis grins, “It’s for the best then, yeah?” Eleanor sighs.

                “Yeah, I don’t think your new girl would appreciate your sending an arse pic to your ex.” Louis’ heart clinches a little at the new girl bit. For so long, Eleanor was his girl and she sorta is, even now-despite everything. Louis thinks that in a strange way, Eleanor will always be his girl.

                “No,” Louis says lowly, “she wouldn’t.”

                “She seems like a sweet girl,” Eleanor says again. Louis shakes his head.

                “But she’s not you,” he says it before he can stop himself. He shouldn’t have said it but it’s the true. No woman will ever compare to Eleanor. There’s only one Eleanor Calder in the world and Louis had her and she will always be his girl.

                “You shouldn’t have said that,” Eleanor says evenly.

                “I know,” Louis agrees as guilt seems in his bloodstream, replacing the drugs that were once there. He’s suddenly not feeling so brave anymore. Eleanor yawns.

                “You should get home now, Louis. It’s bloody freezing out there I reckon. You’ll catch a cold.”

                Louis smiles woefully, “You’re still looking out for me, eh?”

                Eleanor pauses before responding sincerely,“I’ll always look out for you, Lou.”

                Louis can’t stop his lips trembling at that. Eleanor’s a sweet girl and she’ll make some bloke very happy, “We’ll we ever talk to each other again?”

                “Louis…” Eleanor sighs weakly.

                “Please? I miss talking to you. I…I’ve missed you so much. Please-just. Even if it’s just a quick two minute convo every few months. I don’t care,” Louis pleas and Eleanor groans softly.

                “We’ll see, okay?” Louis will take it. He glances up at the sky and notices the moon hanging low, nearing the western horizon. It’s so late and he should end this but Louis doesn’t want to end it.

                “If this tosser you’re dating-”

                “He’s not a tosser, Lou-”

                “Well if he becomes one,” Louis says pointedly, “just…call me and I’ll take care of him.”

                Eleanor huffs out a breathy laugh, “Sure thing, Lou,” she coughs tightly, “and um, you treat this new girl well, okay? I’d hate to have another girl’s heart broken by you.”

                Louis grips onto the lamppost as he swallows thick; his body shakes at her words, “I’ll try not to,” he half promises her and it’s the least he can do for her.

                “Right,” Eleanor breathes out, sounding reluctant, “I guess this is goodnight then, yeah? Are you home yet?”

                _No_ , Louis thinks, “Ya, I’m just walking up now,” he tells Eleanor. Eleanor clicks her tongue.

                “Good,” she sighs, “I, um. Goodnight Louis.”

                “Goodnight Els,” Louis whispers, “I’m sorry I called you.”

                Eleanor is quick to answer, “Don’t be,” she stops herself and coughs once more, “It was nice to talk to you and, yeah. Just…take care of yourself, Lou. And good luck with the baby and, yeah.”

                “Thanks,” Louis breathes out, “and please take care of yourself. God, I just want you to be happy. Are you happy?” Eleanor doesn’t say anything for a few seconds and then she breathes in a shaky breath.

                “Goodnight Lou,” she whispers before hanging up the phone.

                Louis stares down on his mobile and his eyes must be deceiving him because it’s almost four in the morning. They spoke for nearly an hour and it somehow lead them nowhere and everywhere all at the same time. He feels sad and relieved; upset and yet content. He has no idea what to think or feel really. Perhaps he’ll figure out what to feel and think once he’s had some sleep.

                 Louis takes in a deep, steady breath. He turns in the direction towards his mum’s house and he begins to walk home; completely sobered and moving on.

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it!  
> PLEASE leave me kudos and nice comments!  
> And check out my writing blog on tumblr! thequietquill!  
> Take care dolls!


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